WWE Raw Results
Credit: WWE

Covering professional wrestling can be hard if your job consists of providing play-by-play for Raw or any of the other WWE content for that matter. Some of the stuff that goes through my head shouldn’t be plastered all over the internet for anyone to see. BUT A wise man once said, “Fuck it, we’ll do it live!” Welcome to the inaugural edition of “Diary Of A Mad Wrestling Fan” staring me, SAMUEL L. JACKSON! WHAT! I’M NOT YELLING, THAT’S JUST HOW I TALK! Err I mean, Lovell “I’m the CEO of this company so I can write about whatever I want, so don’t @ me” Porter. Follow me on my journey as I fumble through all of your favorite live shows!


8:00 PM EST- I have to admit I am worried about this Roman Reigns return. WWE has a bad habit of using real-life stuff in storylines that just leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. See: Using Paul Bearer‘s death to build a WrestleMania feud. Are they trotting Reigns out here just to pop a rating but offering no real update on Reigns’ condition?

Thankfully I was wrong. Long ass segment, but it’s hard to really be mad about it. Reigns is the biggest face in the company finally and all it took was him having a life-threatening disease! Not making light of it. You know it’s true. The real test is will it last.

I can’t wait until WWE releases the “I’m in Remission, Y’all!” t-shirts. If that ends up being a thing, the proceeds better go to charity. If not, I will be breaking out my pen, putting on my soccer mom wig and writing a strongly worded four-page letter, sealed with righteous indignation!

After an hour of Reigns hugging his family and every member of the WWE Universe, Seth Rollins dances out on the stage and pulls Reigns away with a comically large hook. Ok, that didn’t happen, but that would have been hilarious. The hug between Reigns and Rollins was cool, but this would have been way better:

Preditor

8:20 PMish EST- Aleister Black and Ricochet are teaming on Raw for some reason. So to make up for the lack of any background for the NXT call ups they run 10-second video packages for them on screen as they make their way to the ring. What is that going to accomplish? Can the folks in the crowd even see it? It’s better than just throwing them out there with no explanation whatsoever, I suppose. When Bayley, Sasha Banks, Charlotte Flair, and Becky Lynch were called up they made the same short-sighted mistake. That turned out well, so maybe I should just shut up.

I wonder who they are fighting…

The Revival. The Raw Tag Team Champions. The tag champs didn’t even get an entrance.

Talk about a lose-lose. Either you dump on your tag champs or you dump on your call ups.

Scott Dawson with the Arn Anderson DDT! Underrated move. Dawson damn near killed Black with that. The crowd popped for it too. I don’t think any of us are used to a move looking so damn nasty being sold so damn well.

The Revival lost again. The only explanation there can be here is that this is going to lead to a multi-team match for the titles at WrestleMania. That’s the easiest way to get the NXT call-ups on the show.

8:30 PM EST- Just what this night needs. A Baron Corbin backstage promo. This can’t get any worse. Well, it didn’t take long for me to be proven wrong. They just brought back Corbin talking crap about Reigns after his Cancer announcement. They are going to waste this potentially nuclear-level heat on Corbin. That makes sense. Why not give this to someone like EC3? EC3>Corbin when it comes to the mic. EC3 could do some serious damage with this touchy subject matter.

EC3
Credit: WWE

“Hey Roman, EC3 means ‘Cancer free!'”

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