9:20 PM EST- Jinder Mahal is upset about not being invited to Ric Flair’s party. So, of course, that means Mahal wants to fight anyone who was actually invited to the party, right? His challenge is answered by this guy:
Kurt Angle walks out in his wrestling gear, even though he is just here to party. If Angle dresses in his wrestling gear for parties then I know where I need to be- at whatever party Angle is at!
9:31 PM EST- I have no idea what the point of A Moment of Bliss is. Alexa Bliss is cleared to wrestle and though it leads to some slightly interesting banter, the show doesn’t really accomplish anything other than setting up a throwaway match here and there.
9:44 PM EST- So… Crazy thought: Lio Rush should beat Finn Bálor for the IC title. Hear me out: this storyline is pretty goddamn boring. Putting the belt on Rush puts him in the middle of Bálor and Bobby Lashley in a more meaningful way. It’s one thing to cost someone the title, but to win it instead of them too? Trust me, this works. Also, Bálor goading a heel into a title match is the definition of face-stupidity. If you want to beat the guy up, just beat him up.
Rush looks great against Bálor. Wait, did he get an IC title shot before he got a CW title shot? How ironic is that?
9:53 PM EST- An Ascension appearance!
“Putting Heavy Machinery in the ring the Ascension is exactly what Heavy Machinery needs to get over with the casual fans.” -Said no one ever
9:58 PM EST- Did anyone else pop when Lashley was yelling at Rush and clapping his hands between each word? Lashley has been keeping up with Love and Hip-Hop it seems.
“👏🏾You 👏🏾 Must 👏🏾 Not 👏🏾 Remember 👏🏾 Who 👏🏾 You 👏🏾 Are 👏🏾 F’n 👏🏾 With. 👏🏾 You 👏🏾 Got 👏🏾 Me 👏🏾 F’D 👏🏾 Up! 👏🏾” – Bobby Lashley
Wait, so Lashley did all that clapping and got his butt kicked. Yikes.
10:00 PM EST- Braun Strowman freight trains Lashley and Rush and his music plays. What in the WCW was that? Why is the match over? If they have a Lio Rush on a pole match next week I may have to tap out of wrestling fandom for a bit.
10:07 PM EST- Ric Flair just showed up on the screen. Flair’s lovely wife is in tow. I have nothing to add except that Flair walked out at his wedding to “Ric Flair Drip” by Offset… OFFSET!
10:08 PM EST- Wait… if this counts as Rousey relinquishing the title, that means Lynch is definitely going to win at WrestleMania? Has to, right?