*Record Scratch* I bet you’re wondering how I got here… Credit: WWE

8:01 PM- Am I nuts or does the Shield’s music sound different?

8:02 PM- If this really is it for Dean Ambrose I can’t help but feel that WWE missed out on something that could have been great. Heel Ambrose had potential. I just wanted him to say just once, “It doesn’t matter who we are, what matters is our plan”.

Also, Cole and Graves are talking about Ambrose not resigning with the company and Renee Young is once again totally silent. This is getting annoying. LET HER BE A PERSON WITH EMOTIONS!

8:04 PM- Apparently, Roman Reigns has no ragrets…

No ragerts

8:09 PM- I love Paul Heyman but it would be cool for him to give a different promo now and again. Maybe this will be different.

8:14 PM- Seeing Heyman stumble a bit over his words was a welcome change. Rollins actually had Heyman rattled. Didn’t see that coming.

8:15 PM- Heyman just basically said Lesnar has been fantasizing about what he is going to do to Rollins… Some jokes just write themselves, people!

8:16 PM- Hey! It’s Shelton “I am a better wrestler than 90% of the roster but no one wants to admit it” Benjamin! I was wondering where the hell Benjamin was hiding. No way he wins this match, but whatever. Let’s GO!

8:28 PM- This is not a drill! Michael Cole has been talking smack about Lesnar! Lesnar is going to be on Raw next week. This is not a drill!

Michael Cole shoe

8:32 PM- Lashley just… did he really just… LOL

Bobby Lashley Zordon

.Bobby Lashley: “Alpha, we need teenagers with attitudes…”


8:42 PM- Am I nuts or was heel Lashley way more interesting in TNA? I am not a Lashley hater but he is not making it easy to defend him.

8:52 PM- I swear, trying a sunset flip on Finn Bálor is like trying to powerbomb Billy Kidman. If you try to do this, you are going to have a bad time.

8:53 PM- Did anyone actually expect Bálor to retain here? Bálor will have his moment at WrestleMania at Lashley’s expense.

8:54 PM- Baron Corbin says he is going to house train the Big Dog tonight… Seriously… are we not doing phrasing anymore…


9:00 PM- Dana Brooke, really? Is Mickie James on holiday or something?

9:04 PM- That was probably the best Brooke has ever been on the mic. I mean, could there be a chance that she might… False alarm everyone. Rousey essentially just buttfucked Brooke on national TV. That was hard to watch but man, was it awesome.

9:07 PM- The more I think about it, this is really the Ronda Rousey we all wanted to see from start. Having her go on a Handbanana-like tear leading up to WrestleMania will make Lynch tapping her out that much sweeter. I don’t know who I am kidding. We all know Charlotte is going to win that match. Charlotte is basically the Hulk Hogan of the women’s division. No matter what, Charlotte MUST POSE!

9:20 PM – Hey look at that… Aleister Black and Ricochet won another tag match. Great. Why the fuck is this happening? Is there nothing these two could be doing other than tagging together? Oh, and you know when they break up Black will turn on Ricochet or something stupid like that.

9:27 PM- The funny thing is I am not a big Alexa Bliss guy but this talk show is brutal. I’d much rather see her in the ring… or she can be a guest star on the new Monday Night Raw that is just three hours of Zelina Vega doing her taxes.

9:35 PM- Strowman just destroyed another car… and I think I just came to the realization that Strowman isn’t going to have a match at WrestleMania. Bloody hell.

9:37 PM- Strowman really likes destroying shit. Strowman is the only person on the planet who played Street Fighter just to get to the car smash bonus stage.


9:55 PM- Beth Phoenix looks to be in amazing shape.

10:03 PM- Triple H just dropped the line of the night… He called Batista’s security “The Guardians of the Independent Scene”.

10:15 PM- Angle is going to have his last match at WrestleMania. That’s fitting.

10:18 PM- I am way more interested in this Kurt Angle vs Apollo Crews match than I should be. Part of me wishes this was happening on an independent show 6 years ago. Crews and Angle could really cut loose then. Most of you have only seen “Apollo Crews” but have no idea how amazing “Uhaa Nation” was.

10:26 PM- That match was a huge letdown but what do you expect when you only get four minutes. Enough about that. Who is Angle going to face at WrestleMania? I’d pay good money to see Angle vs a bottle of Geritol.

10:36 PM- I knew something was up. Why would the main event start at 10:30? That about 15 minutes too early. I wasn’t exactly dying to see Corbin vs Reigns, but I am scared of what we may be getting instead of that.


Ambrose: Yo Triple H?

Triple H: What up?

Ambrose: Can I get a hell yeah?

Triple H: HELL YEAH!

10:45 PM- Well that last diary line didn’t age well. Can’t go wrong with Dean Ambrose in a falls count anywhere match… also, he is getting the crap kicked out of him and his WIFE SEEMS TO NOT CARE! That’s it. Renee obviously hates her husband. A brother leaves the toilet seat up once and boom! Your wife doesn’t care why you get obliterated in front of her.

10:58 PM- That was one nasty beatdown from McIntyre. The sad part is no one, including Ambrose’s own wife, seemed to care all that much. What did this match really accomplish?

This has to be one of the strangest builds to WrestleMania ever. Raw has been a mixed bag of ups and downs… mostly downs. Seriously. So many freaking downs. Did I mention the downs? WWE seemingly has zero fucks left to give about anything, but man do they have downs. I have nothing left to say. This show has quite literally drained the life out of me. I’m out.

By Lovell Porter

Lovell is the owner and Editor-in-Chief of BlaqueRabbit.com.

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