Covering professional wrestling can be hard if your job consists of providing play-by-play for Smackdown Live or any of the other WWE content for that matter. Some of the stuff that goes through my head shouldn’t be plastered all over the internet for anyone to see. BUT A wise man once said, “Fuck it, we’ll do it live!” Welcome to “Diary Of A Mad Wrestling Fan” staring me, SAMUEL L. JACKSON! WHAT! I’M NOT YELLING, THAT’S JUST HOW I TALK! Err I mean, Lovell “I’m the CEO of this company so I can write about whatever I want, so don’t @ me” Porter. Follow me on my journey as I fumble through all of your favorite live shows!
8:03 PM- I am a little confused as to why the New Day is so happy on the way to the ring.
Isn’t now the time for them to be serious?
“If we can be serious for a minute…” – Xavier Woods
Ok… I’ll just shut my big fat mouth then.
8:06 PM- Big E. says they have been thinking about walking away… I am trying like hell to make a Craig David joke but I can’t come up with one.
8:07 PM- Woods wants Mr. McMahon to come out to answer some question. WWE should go all in and have Mr. McMahon come out in a Maga hat. Go hard or go home, bitches.
8:09 PM- BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA Bryan really said let New Day quit and grab three guys from NXT to replace them. They can be called “Fresh afternoon” BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
8:12 PM- McMahon should have said they can’t quit because he owns them. They may not be able to get away with the Maga hat, but this could slip through the cracks.
8:30 PM- Waaaaaaaait. Why the fuck is Asuka defending the SD Live Women’s Title against Charlotte Flair?!?!?! What is happening right now? I’m not complaining. It’s just totally out of left field.
8:45 PM- OMG they are about to take the title off Asuka, aren’t they? FACE MOTHER FUCKING PALM.
8:50 PM- Wow… that just happened. They couldn’t just have Flair pin Asuka? What is their obsession with having Asuka tap out? I can see it now…
Mr. McMahon: The main event of WrestleMania needs to be EVEN BIGGER, PAL! Let’ take a title off of one of the greatest women’s wrestlers in the history of pro wrestling to give an overbooked angle even MORE!
8:55 PM- This is stupid. Calling it now: Rousey is going to win at WrestleMania and carry both titles. This is their way of getting Rousey on Smackdown Live for the Fox debut.
8:56 PM- Someone just reminded me that it could always be worse. She could have lost it to Lacey Evans.
9:00 PM- Shane McMahon just came out and rambled on for five minutes. Yep, I’m out on this match again.
9:28 PM- The IIconics were screeching so loud they bet dogs on other planets are barking right now.
9:31 PM- The New Day just took a huge dump on Gallows and Anderson. They got ZERO offense in.
9:42 PM- Am I the only one who is getting tired of all of these gauntlet matches? Not saying this isn’t good, it just that they have a tendency to overdo it when they get positive feedback on something.
9:52 PM- The Usos forfeiting was a nice touch. The Usos That actually made sense.
9:54 PM- Bryan and Rowan destroying the locker room was hilarious.
9:42 PM- I always pop when I see someone do a rolling single leg crab.
9:42 PM- That table can’t be that damn heavy lol. This Gauntlet match was great but I hated the finish.
9:42 PM- I wonder if B+ player is code for “you can’t because you are a black guy” now. lol