How could Disney finally debut the highly anticipated and potentially Netflix killing Disney Plus streaming service and not provide the content that fans everywhere have been clamoring for? It’s like parking your car, walking up to a Pizza Hut/Taco Bell full of glee just to find out the damn thing is now a Comcast customer service center… but we don’t talk about that. That day is now referred to as White Tuesday. Screw this, I’m boycotting until Disney gives us the content we need. My list of demands are simple:
Seasons 1-3 of Arrow for some reason…
Hell Blade is on the CW Seed App, so why the fuck not? The whole world as gone crazy. *Shrug*
All of the Blade movies
… And another thing, why the hell aren’t any of the Blade movies on this app? You would think with the Blade reboot or sequel or whatever the Mahershala Ali project is they would go all out on reminding everyone how awesome the original trilo… um… first two movies were. Don’t get me wrong, Ryan Reynolds was great as Wade Wilson cosplaying as Hannibal King. Unfortunately, that isn’t enough to save the crapfest that was Blade: Trinity. Seriously, why would Dracula ever go by “Drake”? Only a disingenuous, overrated rapper would pick a name like that.
X-Men: Pryde of the X-Men
🎵No place to hide… no place to run… Mutants’ age, has now begun! X-Men (X-Men) saves the day (saves the day) X-Men (X-Men) coming your way! 🎵
That’s part of the most iconic theme song most of you have probably never heard. Before the legendary ’90s X-Men cartoon made its way into our hearts with Professor Xavier and Jean Grey’s dueling bloodcurdlingly orgasmic screams, Bishop’s failed attempt to resurrect Soul Glow with the world’s wettest Jheri Curl, Marvel released what was supposed to be a pilot for an ongoing animated series on their Marvel Action Universe television block in 1989. This show was wild. Colossus running around to the theme to Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers, Juggernaught running around screaming that he is “The Juggernaught, bitch!” while “Magno” asks Charles “where the fuck is the beer!” Come to think of it, this show may have been way too adult for kids.
What do you mean that wasn’t the X-Men pilot?
Well, what the hell did I watch?
Well shit. The ACTUAL X-Men: Pryde of the X-Men is ok, too. Either version will work! Although, not sure I can get used to Wolverine with an Australian accent. Also, what the hell are Jodeci boots?? Who cares, just put add it to the app, Disney! The people have spoken!
🎵Magneto’s hordes are on their way to pillage, burn and plunder.
But there’s one team that will not yield, the team that strikes like thunder!
X-Men (X-Men) saves the day (saves the day)
X-Men (X-Men) coming your way! 🎵
What Marvel content do you think needs to be to Disney Plus? Let us know in the comments below!