Perspective

Lord of the Flies: What Is the Real Story Behind The Fly on VP Mike Pence’s Head?

The biggest question to come out of this week’s Vice Presidential debate isn’t why in 2020 VP Mike Pence still thinks fracking is a good idea (it’s not), or if that was actually Mia Rudolph and not Senator Kamala Harris on stage getting some reps in because even she could destroy Pence in a debate. No, it’s not about their views on COVID or if systemic racism actually exists (it does). The biggest question is what the heck was up with the fly on VP Pence’s head. Seriously, look at that thing! It stayed there for what seemed like forever. Thankfully, using nothing but grit and above-average detective skills I’ve managed to narrow down a few possible reasons FlyGate took place. 


The Fly was actually a fracking lobbyist literally holding a gun to Pence’s head…

You’d be stammering over and over again about fracking too if a Flyobyist (hehe) had a pistol on you. “REMEMBER OUR DEAL, PENCE!”

Odds: 500/1 

Pence actually died before the first election in a freak butt plug incident. That’s just Pence’s reanimated corpse on the stage…

Look, Hitler was heavy into black magic so it wouldn’t be that surprising if President Mein Kampf err… Trump,  would be into the same thing. Don’t believe me? How do you think Herman Cain is still tweeting after not wearing a mask to a Trump rally, catching COVID, and dying? 

Odds: 50/1

Pence is really a reptile person and The Fly was trying to get revenge because the VP ate his family…

Look, I’m no expert but if you were a fly casually flying around the Vice Presidential Debate and you saw the reptile person that murdered your wife and kids what would you do? WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!?!?

Odds: 100/1

The Fly had two options: land on Pence’s head or land on Harris’ head…

The Fly chose life and landed on Pence. Do NOT mess with a Black Women’s hair. 

Odds: 10/1

Pence, totally unprepared for the amount of sheer black girl magic he would be dealing with, shit himself on stage once Harris looked in his direction…

What does a fly like more than shit? Mike Pence covered in shit. Trust me, it’s like hedonism to a fly. That Fly is currently doing lines off of another fly’s wings during an orgy. 

Odds: Even

 

Tell us why you think The Fly joined the debate in the comments section below!

 

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